A carnival of technology

My steamed-food experiment was mostly a success, and everyone involved learned a little more about themselves and the world around them. One of the things I got in the holy-crap-I’m-moving sale from the guy two buildings over was a Black & Decker Flavor Scenter Handy Steamer, which steams food and, presumably, can optionally flavor scent it. Figuring out how to use it was fairly simple: there’s the place where water goes, the place where spices and stuff go (They suggested dill for green beans. I would have suggested ham chunks, but I guess those don’t dissolve as well.), the compartment where the steam hangs out, and the basket where food goes. It took about twice the recommended amount of time to get my green beans to the desired softness, but I think this could be a combination of the fact that the beans were probably a couple days older than the ideal and the fact that most of the green beans I’ve eaten lately have been boiled. Regardless of any inaccurate instructions, I do like the idea of this steamer, since it belongs to that rare class, along with the venerable crock pot, of kitchen appliances that require no human interaction. I just dump everything in, set a timer, and some number of minutes later a pleasant “ding” tells me that I can eat. There are fewer foods that can be steamed than foods that crocked, but for those where steaming is appropriate, this device seems like the laziest option. I’ll have to try it next on rice.

I’m moving up in the world. Someone else in the apartment complex was moving to California and needed to get rid of a big pile of stuff in a hurry, so I managed to buy some pots and Jor-El, master of toast, for cheap. I’ve tested the Toastmaster, and boy, it sure did show that bread who’s boss.

calendar(1) has started reminding me that I have one of those birthday things coming up. I always hate that, since family members then expect me to come up with ideas for junk that they should buy for me. Now, I’m certainly not opposed to the whole me-getting-stuff system, but I’m not very good at coming up with ideas. Nearly everything I’ve ever bought has been an impulse buy, so I’m not very good at maintaining a wishlist with an age of more than a week or so. If I don’t run out to do my civic duty and help the economy by buying whatever item I happen to want, I’ll just forget about it. I’m not sure whether this makes a good consumer or a bad one. Either way, no, mom, I don’t know what I want for my birthday.

I tried C2 yesterday. I think that what Coke is doing with it is great: they appear to be targeting consumers in a group much like myself, who think that maybe all those sugar-laden sodas that I suck down every day are a bit unhealthy, but who aren’t about to give in to the ridiculous trend of the zero-carb zero-calorie diet of the week. It’s a compromise soda; not diet, but not excessive. As far as taste, though, it’s pretty unspectacular. It pretty much tastes like they took regular Coke and diet Coke and mixed the two together. Oh well.

Today was Hawaiian shirt day at the office. We all agreed to wear Hawaiian shirts as a casual Friday joke: I missed the trip to Target, so I came in wearing Walmart’s finest. Lincoln got a kick out of it, and he also noted that these were the nicest shirts that any of us have ever worn to the office. They have buttons and collars and everything. For the two or three of you who have seen my shower curtain and lived, my shirt is of the same theme, which should give you an idea of its relative volume. David’s was red with a floral pattern, and Chris’s was key-lime green with some fruit and flowers and stuff. First we started drinking Squirt, now we’re wearing Hawaiian shirts…the office seems to be getting more ridiculous every day.

The other David has begun his move to an apartment two inches inside the perimeter. Tomorrow will be a fun-filled day of day of heavy lifting and heat exhaustion. Hurray! In other news, the Coca-Cola company, makers of fine products such as Coca-Cola and Diet Coke, have decided that their high-calorie drinks and no-calorie drinks simply don’t offer enough choices to the consumer, so they are now offering a medium-calorie drink. C2 boats half the calories and half the carbs; and it also offers almost half the cans, with 8 cans in a 12-pack. I haven’t tried any yet, but I’ll sure to report the results when I do.

I’ve been accused of being too cynical in these things, so I’m going to try to write a happier gopher log entry. Let me know how it works out.

Yesterday, I entered into the fun and exciting world of appliance ownership. I got a washer and a dryer from hhgregg, so on Sunday, when they’re delivered, I can do laundry. My supply of clean clothes is distressingly low, so the addition of more noisy, power-guzzling devices to the apartment is something that I eagerly await. I think that I’ll buy a toaster for my next purchase. Or maybe a blender, so that I can crush ice on a whim. I don’t usually have many ice-crushing whims, but I would want to be prepared.

I’m going to try to start waking up earlier in the mornings. My routine thus far has been to wake up at the last possible minute and go through the process of showering, dressing, and getting into the car in a single, stumbling motion. I’d like to have some more time in the mornings to enjoy some coffee, maybe read a book, and contemplate life for a while before returning to the fast-paced, demanding world of employment. This morning I woke up at 10 minutes before 8, instead of 20 minutes after it, and it was quite enjoyable. I had some coffee and learned a little about the history of the semicolon. Mornings aren’t really all that bad; I think it’s just the jarring experience of being removed from slumber that makes me despise them.

Another nice thing about waking up early is that the radio options are slightly better. Mike is in Massachusetts, so I’m left to fend for myself as far as transportation, and I certainly couldn’t bear to drive to work in a silent car. Morning radio options kind of suck, so I usually end up at least trying to listen to WREK. Before 9am, WREK plays a reasonably pleasant classical music show, which further helps with the goal of relaxing a bit so that I’m not totally stressed-out before starting the day. However, at 9 they switch to the jazz show. I don’t actively hate jazz, but I don’t seek it out, either. WREK, of course, in their quest to cleanse the spectrum of dull music, tends to find and play the unlistenable extremes of any genre, and when presented with pieces like “20 Minutes of Saxophone Noodling in G,” I find myself again forced to find another station or endure the silence. I suppose it serves as a good indicator that I’m late for work.

Someone pointed out to me a few days ago that there is yet hope for the world concerning the spread of sweet tea. The Southeast United States isn’t the only place in the world that has figured out that sugar and iced tea are two great tastes that taste great together (not entirely true, since unsweetened iced tea doesn’t taste very good at all, but anyhow…); Asia has also figured this out. Being Asia, they make it weirdly, adding unnatural ingredients like milk and those weird tapioca balls that hit you in the back of the throat, but they’re at least on the right track. Sort of. I figure if bubble tea has enough tasty weirdness to attract those trendy hipsters that I hate and who can all burn in hell, then maybe normal sweet tea could catch on with the normal people outside of the South. Some sort of evangelical sweet tea group is needed. The First Church of Chick-fil-a could send missionaries to the savage foreign lands, like Ohio, to pass out Bibles and glasses of sweet tea. This could totally work.

Speaking of chicken, I need to get a deep frier. I’m never going to get motivated enough to exercise more, so I might as well shorten the amount of time I spend living an unhealthy life by just clogging my arteries and getting it over with. I also need to get a washing machine, since Azuma, whom I was recommended for washing machine rental, has not yet come through. The stopping point now is that they can’t make out the copy of my driver’s license that I faxed to them. Of course you can’t make it out! It’s a fax! Why is it that in 2004, in a society that celebrates the absurd, breakneck rate of technological advancement, I’m still forced to send a low-quality, black and white picture of a physical piece of identification over a modem? This is absurd. What happened to the dream of the paperless society? This process, even if it had been entirely successful, would have taken at least two sheets of paper to send a copy of a little plastic card. I am not going to go through the process again to fax things to their satisfaction. The fax machine has not benefited society; it has encouraged laziness, mediocrity, and further pollution of an already overloaded telephone system. I am not going to use it now, and, if I can avoid it, I will not use it ever again.