Shavin’
I remember an article in The Onion a couple years back, after the Schick Quattro came out. The razor itself was a pretty obvious attempt to do one better than the Gillette Mach 3, and the Onion article was written from the viewpoint of an angry Gillette CEO eager now to make a five-bladed razor. “…stick two more blades in there. I don’t care how. Make the blades so thin they’re invisible. Put some on the handle. I don’t care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!”
Since that article was written, Gillette’s biggest innovation in terms of telling Schick to eat it was to make their razors vibrate, which I still think is a very bad idea. I have enough trouble minimizing my blood loss in the morning without having to worry about a moving target. Does it vibrate from side to side? I still don’t get that thing. Anyhow, you’re probably aware that Gillette did recently fire the definitive next volley in this ridiculous game: a razor with five blades, plus a bonus blade going in the other direction. Maybe it’s time to just get a straight razor. Sure, I’ll slice my face off if I’m not careful, but it still seems a bit less ominous than the way of the future, the six whirring blades of doom.