Hookers and blow
“It is expressly understood and agreed that this Release is a settlement of all claims for which the parties released hereby deny all liability and that by this Release, the parties released hereby intend merely to avoid litigation and buy their peace.”
To recap: way back in August I picked a fight with an SUV and lost in the first round by TKO; sonofabitch ran me over and broke my right heel. After several long months of casts and crutches and boots and therapy, I can walk again, the only lingering side effects being that I have a bit more bone down there now than the Good Lord intended, and sometimes I can predict when it’s going to rain. I am pleased with the care I received and thank all of the doctors and nurses and therapists and other medical professionals involved, especially Dr. Funk, the emergency room doctor who either cared enough or was bored enough to call me the next morning with some more information about my foot, mostly because that is such a damn awesome name. I also thank the lawyer who gave me some helpful free advice while waiting in line at the police station, and an extra special thank you goes out to my mom and dad for spending a weekend in the A making sure I didn’t starve to death or drown in a pile of filth. I probably would have tried something extra stupid and broken my foot even worse if it weren’t for you two. To everyone, muchas gracias; I couldn’t have done it without all of you.
Fast forward to the future is now, and I’ve finally got all the co-pays settled and all the forms filled out and State Farm is ready to send me a settlement. I won’t share the math unless you really care for me to—I’m never sure how rude it is to bring in money numbers—but basically State Farm is prepared to write me a check to cover this nebulous remainder of medical expenses, lost wages and whatever else may arise, and after I’ve paid my medical insurer their chunk, I’ll have a couple few grand of peace buyin’ money left over. The law says that this is compensation for things I’ve already paid or still owe, so it doesn’t count as taxable income, relieving my fears that I’d have to start thinking about 2008 taxes right after paying for 2007. So what should I spend it on? One idea I had is to get a new computer; I’d like to just throw out my rickety old workstation and ricketier old server and replace them with one of those OpenWrt routers for the internets link and maybe a laptop for everything else. Maybe I should replace my 90’s TV with one of them new-fangled high def things. Or maybe I could do something boring like make an extra big car payment or give it to charity. What do you think?